Finished GED!

I finished my GED today. I had to go through this because I started University before graduating High School.
I thought that maybe because I did early admissions I could just transfer. But no, thats not the way it works here. I remember instructions always telling you to bring every document when making aliyah, even your high school transcript because employers will care about it. I thought maybe times had changed...but no, they haven't.

I was even told by one of the test center employees about her daughter who started college at 16 in America, graduated, did her Masters (MA), and then wanted to apply to a PhD. program in Israel but wasn't accepted simply because she didn't have a High School diploma

I have been trying to complete the GED for months now. The material is not the problem, it is ridiculously easy, easier than the SAT in my opinion. The problem is the company that gives the test -Prometric. The people in the Israel office are really nice. The problem is that they can't do much to help. Holland controls booking, South Africa does tech support, the test itself comes from America, and England is also thrown in the mix.

Besides lots of booking errors in the past (theirs not mine), I had a new problem. The tests were asking me to input a number for the essay I had to write. The number was on an essay answer booklet. This "5 digit code" that the computer wanted doesn't exist anymore. Now you would think this could be solved easily, after all its only a 200 word essay.


I don't want to tell the story now. But don't be fooled, this isn't an Israel bureaucracy story, this is a story of a messed up multinational company that don't care about its customers. If you can avoid Prometric and especially Prometric GED then do.

On the bright side, the head of the test center invited me over to his house for Shabbat. Makes you love Israel.

Kaluach3 Funny Help

Kaluach3 is a program that besides helping you with the Jewish calendar also gives you complete customizable zmanim, daf yomi(bavli and Yesrushalmi), Mishna Yomi, Halakha Yomi, and Tanakh Yomi.

I was going to try to figure out how to use it with Google calendar, which I am now starting to use to keep track of where I will be when during ben hazmanim (intersession for Yeshiva). In the end I found the easiest way to get a Hebrew calendar, Hebrew dates, שבת times was by using hebcal which lets you export a calendar according to your specifications in either iCal or a CSV, which are both recognized by Google calendar.

But while searching the Help file of Kaluach3 I found some funny things, among the serious questions pertaining to how kaluach figures out the zmanim and the different halakhic shitot (opinions)

" - quote marks, used in rashei teivot (phrase contractions)

In Hebrew, phrase contractions are called rashei teivot, or "the first letters" (of the words in a phrase). Years ago they were commonly used to cut down the size of a book since printing was quite expensive and time consuming. Today, when printing is much cheaper, rashei teivot still appear in places where the context is clear, or in books that were printed using the original plates (or photocopies).

Rashei teivot are also commonly used by the Israeli army in order to obfuscate even the most trivial matters. It is common to receive an order to report to army reserves with a line, stating the objective, similar to this:
מטרה: שחיו"מ טב"י א:כ שטויות

It might look like this in English
Objective: tcx"e pi"w z"a nonsens"e

Upon calling the army to clarify, the usual answer is something like: "I'm not sure what it means, but I think you'll be doing guard duty or driving a jeep."

gehinnom - loosely translated as "hell"

This is a sort of holding tank where those whose fates have yet to be decided wait. Gehinnom physically resembles a dentist's office with Barry Manilow songs piped in 24 hours a day. Israelis wait in a separate room that resembles an Interior Ministry office with Tzvika Pik songs piped in. This is a place to be avoided at all costs.

tzaddikim - "the righteous ones"

Tzaddikim are those individuals that devote their lives to the service of the Almighty and to helping their fellow man. They also eat foods rich in fiber and don't put sugar on their grapefruit.

And after a long complicated explanation of shitot for tzeit hashabbat

David Kramer has suggested the inclusion of the "Egged tzeit Shabbat" (Egged is the major bus line in Israel). To the best of my knowledge, this is based solely on observation... If no one's looking, start the bus.

Its true that buses in Israel depending on which city they are in, do drive or don't, but Egged is no El-Al. Egged only runs buses 30 minutes after Shabbat goes out they say, but according to which shita?

And I'll end off with one funny mistake

In order to prevent desecration of Shabbat, the Chief Rabbinate decreed that the 27th of Nissan falls on Sunday, Yom Hashoah will be observed on Monday.

No, the Chief Rabbinate does not have the authority to fiddle with the calendar and decide that the 27th of Nissan will always fall on a Sunday.