Overheard in the falafel shop near Yeshivat Hesder Petach Tikva
Customer: How much did Israel lose by?
Falafel Shop Owner: when?
Customer: tonight
Falafel Shop Owner: they didn't play tonight, last night they lost by...
Customer: I mean against Spain
Falafel Shop Owner: thats tomorrow night
A few seconds go by
Falafel Shop Owner: hey, why did you say they lost, they didn't even play yet, they might win
Customer: If only (Halevai)
Showing posts with label YPT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label YPT. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Jokes in Shmita Shiur
On Sundays at Yeshivat Petach Tikva I go to a shiur on shemita with Rav Gil. He told a few jokes in shiur today.
He told the one about the psak not to smoke which in the American version goes
After it was decided it that smoking was against Halacha (which it of course is [even if you are addicted]) the Orthodox, Conservative and Reform Rabbis get together to decide what to do.
The Reform Rabbis simply decide that since this is a Halachik ruling they can ignore it.
The Conservative Rabbis decide that from now on Conservative Rabbis will no longer smoke.
The Orthodox Rabbis decide that before a Jew may smoke he must sell his lungs to a Non-Jew.
The Israeli version which doesn't play on movements that don't exist in Israel, simply has a guy taking a neder (oath) not to smoke. Making the same point about the legal fiction of Matana Al Minat L'Hachzir (A gift on the condition of return) and the general idea of selling Hametz on Pesach.
This of course relevant to Heter Mechira. Some Talmidim were complaining about it, so he said everyone sells hametz on pesach, and eats hametz that was sold by big companies over pesach.
Then the other really good joke which has a good moral that he told goes as follows:
A rav of a town was very respected and served his congergation day and night. After many years this exuasted him so he decided to go on a short vacation. The community was petrefied, what would they do without the Rav. As the Rav leaves he gives intsturctions as to how to check if meat is kosher. He tells them to throw any questionable meat to his dog. My dog is smart he says, he knows you are supposed to throw treif meat to the dogs, so if he knows its treif he will eat it. If he doesn't' eat it, then its kosher. After a few weeks teh Rav comes back and everyone is so happy to see him. The first thing they say to the Rav on his return is: "We are so glad to have you back, your dog is so machmir!(gives strict rulings)"... Which goes to teach any old dog can be machmir, but it takes a real Rav to be meikil.
And just to add in a joke which reminded me that I wanted to post this, from MomInIsrael
He told the one about the psak not to smoke which in the American version goes
After it was decided it that smoking was against Halacha (which it of course is [even if you are addicted]) the Orthodox, Conservative and Reform Rabbis get together to decide what to do.
The Reform Rabbis simply decide that since this is a Halachik ruling they can ignore it.
The Conservative Rabbis decide that from now on Conservative Rabbis will no longer smoke.
The Orthodox Rabbis decide that before a Jew may smoke he must sell his lungs to a Non-Jew.
The Israeli version which doesn't play on movements that don't exist in Israel, simply has a guy taking a neder (oath) not to smoke. Making the same point about the legal fiction of Matana Al Minat L'Hachzir (A gift on the condition of return) and the general idea of selling Hametz on Pesach.
This of course relevant to Heter Mechira. Some Talmidim were complaining about it, so he said everyone sells hametz on pesach, and eats hametz that was sold by big companies over pesach.
Then the other really good joke which has a good moral that he told goes as follows:
A rav of a town was very respected and served his congergation day and night. After many years this exuasted him so he decided to go on a short vacation. The community was petrefied, what would they do without the Rav. As the Rav leaves he gives intsturctions as to how to check if meat is kosher. He tells them to throw any questionable meat to his dog. My dog is smart he says, he knows you are supposed to throw treif meat to the dogs, so if he knows its treif he will eat it. If he doesn't' eat it, then its kosher. After a few weeks teh Rav comes back and everyone is so happy to see him. The first thing they say to the Rav on his return is: "We are so glad to have you back, your dog is so machmir!(gives strict rulings)"... Which goes to teach any old dog can be machmir, but it takes a real Rav to be meikil.
And just to add in a joke which reminded me that I wanted to post this, from MomInIsrael
A girl comes to her father and announces her marriage plans. When the father asks the boy's occupation, the girl tells him that he is a chazan (cantor). The father says, "No daughter of mine will marry a chazan!" The girl and her mother cry and beg, but the father is adamant. He won't consider a chazan for his daughter. Finally, they convince him to go to shul to hear the potential chassan (groom) in action. After the davening the father comes to his daughter and wishes her mazel tov. The daughter, delirious with joy, asks her father what changed his mind about her intended. He replied, "I heard him, and he's no chazan!"
(Unfortunately, the bar mitzvah speaker who originally told this joke concluded by saying that the bar mitzvah boy was also no chazan, but had other wonderful qualities!)
Back at Yeshiva & Family has made Aliyah!
I am back at Yeshivat Petach Tikva after Ben Hazmanim. Working at Derech Hateva over the summer was great and I recommend it both as a camp for 13-18 year olds and as a place of employment. I'll post more about it later. Meanwhile...
MY FAMILY HAS MADE ALIYAH!!
which is very exciting. I met them at the airport. I woke up at 3am to ride my bike to the airport and came back in a taxi with them to Yerushalim. We dropped off the luggage and went to the kotel and did some basic shopping. I took us through the Arab Shuq to get some electronics. Shlomia got to see her friends on MTA and we picked up a the green Melamed Aramaic-Hebrew-English dictionary (the happy dictionary, called so because it is green[?]). on the way back we went through the new shopping area just outside שער יפו which is really nice, we picked up some naot shoes and desperately needed toiletries.
After that Shlomia and I went to pick up my Shoresh sandals which were in for repairs at Orcha. The popular myth that the sandals are only under guarantee while the green dot is still there isn't 100% true. The warranty is good for two whole years or (not and) while the green dot is completely whole. After collapsing at home for a few hours we took a sherut to Rambash רמב"ש Ramat Beit Shemesh. Somewhere in all of this my Tefillin went missing. Luckily they have my email on them. No point putting a telephone number or even worse address on them, because those change to often. Now I just have to hope the person who finds it read the parsha and saw the positive and negative commandment of Hashavat Aveidah (returning of a lost object)
MY FAMILY HAS MADE ALIYAH!!
which is very exciting. I met them at the airport. I woke up at 3am to ride my bike to the airport and came back in a taxi with them to Yerushalim. We dropped off the luggage and went to the kotel and did some basic shopping. I took us through the Arab Shuq to get some electronics. Shlomia got to see her friends on MTA and we picked up a the green Melamed Aramaic-Hebrew-English dictionary (the happy dictionary, called so because it is green[?]). on the way back we went through the new shopping area just outside שער יפו which is really nice, we picked up some naot shoes and desperately needed toiletries.
After that Shlomia and I went to pick up my Shoresh sandals which were in for repairs at Orcha. The popular myth that the sandals are only under guarantee while the green dot is still there isn't 100% true. The warranty is good for two whole years or (not and) while the green dot is completely whole. After collapsing at home for a few hours we took a sherut to Rambash רמב"ש Ramat Beit Shemesh. Somewhere in all of this my Tefillin went missing. Luckily they have my email on them. No point putting a telephone number or even worse address on them, because those change to often. Now I just have to hope the person who finds it read the parsha and saw the positive and negative commandment of Hashavat Aveidah (returning of a lost object)
Monday, May 14, 2007
English helps Israelis study Torah at YPT
I plan to write up the shiur I heard today from Rav Ti about Ruth, but with my laptop broken I wasn't able to take notes, and it may take some time. Meanwhile, its just intresting that for all the complaints people make about having to learn Tanakh in Hebrew, it actually helps to know English. Transilations by thier very nature will be impercise, but in the Tanakh it makes a big diffrence because the language is meant to be very very percise. Normally that means that when you try to transilate the Tanakh you have two problems (well there are many more, but these ones are relevant to what I am saying).
1) It is difficult or impossible to fight the equivlent word in English (or whatever language you are transilating into)
2) Since most words don't have an exact 1-to-1 correspondance from Hebrew to English, your word choice is by definition an interpretation.
So after all that introduction, what is my point?
רות א:5 Ruth 1:5
וַיָּמֻתוּ גַם-שְׁנֵיהֶם, מַחְלוֹן וְכִלְיוֹן; וַתִּשָּׁאֵר, הָאִשָּׁה, מִשְּׁנֵי יְלָדֶיהָ, וּמֵאִישָׁהּ.
And Mahlon and Chilion both died, and the woman (Naomi) Va'tishaer from/of her two children and of her husband.
So what belongs in place of Va'tishaer ?
Well Rav Ti asked the full room: "מה התגום של ותשאר...הרתגום לאנגלית?" (What is the translation of Va'Tishaer, the translation into English)
So people threw out ideas: survived, left, stayed, remained
The point was that it was pretty obvious that if her husband and children died, then she was survived by them, so what is this verse adding?
In context if you use the word stayed or remained then you develop a picture that Naomi is staying in the Galut outside of Eretz Yisrael. This is why English helps you understand Tanakh
This is a good time to mention that "A Jew is Israel has G-d, a Jew outside of Israel has no G-d." Not "is like he has no G-d." There is a reason that it was especially true in biblical times, but here is not the place to expand on it.
An interesting post on translating and Torah can be found here
1) It is difficult or impossible to fight the equivlent word in English (or whatever language you are transilating into)
2) Since most words don't have an exact 1-to-1 correspondance from Hebrew to English, your word choice is by definition an interpretation.
So after all that introduction, what is my point?
רות א:5 Ruth 1:5
וַיָּמֻתוּ גַם-שְׁנֵיהֶם, מַחְלוֹן וְכִלְיוֹן; וַתִּשָּׁאֵר, הָאִשָּׁה, מִשְּׁנֵי יְלָדֶיהָ, וּמֵאִישָׁהּ.
And Mahlon and Chilion both died, and the woman (Naomi) Va'tishaer from/of her two children and of her husband.
So what belongs in place of Va'tishaer ?
Well Rav Ti asked the full room: "מה התגום של ותשאר...הרתגום לאנגלית?" (What is the translation of Va'Tishaer, the translation into English)
So people threw out ideas: survived, left, stayed, remained
The point was that it was pretty obvious that if her husband and children died, then she was survived by them, so what is this verse adding?
In context if you use the word stayed or remained then you develop a picture that Naomi is staying in the Galut outside of Eretz Yisrael. This is why English helps you understand Tanakh
This is a good time to mention that "A Jew is Israel has G-d, a Jew outside of Israel has no G-d." Not "is like he has no G-d." There is a reason that it was especially true in biblical times, but here is not the place to expand on it.
An interesting post on translating and Torah can be found here
Tafnit on thier night off - Pokemon
Tafnit, the other program from Australasia/South Africa besides MTA, while they are at YPT (Yeshivat Hesder Petach Tikva) usually get Tuesday as a night off. Yom Yerushalim is Tuesday night this week, so they have off tonight. On their night off, some are at the computers. Often they can be found playing Age of Empires II. The computers reset each time they are turned off, so they have to reload it each time off an ipod or disc-on-key(flash drive, USB stick etc), which takes 5-10 minutes per computer, but that doesn't deter them. Tonight however, most of them are playing Pokemon on the computer. Seven of them are playing the original Yellow (not Blue/Red) Pokemon on the computer, including their madrich. A little nostalgia never hurt, but it's quite funny. I guess it's better than GTA: Vice City which one of them is playing.
(correction thanks to The Life and Times of the World's Greatest Jewperhero )
(correction thanks to The Life and Times of the World's Greatest Jewperhero )
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